To come from a family where each of my immediate family members learned how to cue is something I consider a blessing. I even put my life on the line by trying to teach the family cat how to expressively cue to me. I would take her paw and try to move it around her chin/mouth area with the only possible handshape which was handshape 5. I have a scar on my right cheek to prove it.

Mom and Dad learned how to cue almost immediately after the diagnosis of my profound bilateral hearing loss. All three sisters learned the system the same way I did which was visually. Mom has told me there is a picture of my younger sister cueing in the playroom when she was 18 months old.

My speech was basically unintelligible for the first few years of my life. Luckily, all family members were able to cue read so they could understand me. While it is a task for most parents to learn the communication mode they choose for their deaf/hoh child, I consider it extremely important for families to make sure the other siblings or family members who live in the same household (if any) learn the modality too.

Inclusion is important for every person in the household whether it be the hearing person trying to understand the deaf/hoh person or vice versa. One way hearing people build their vocabulary and literacy level on a daily basis is by picking up information through what is heard verbally. Some deaf/hoh individuals acquire their language visually; so every word they see is equally important. Now, I grew up with times where I felt frustrated because two people were having a conversation and I didn’t understand everything that was said so I would ask the two parties to repeat. They would respond with “Oh, it was nothing important”, or they would summarize the conversation from 10 sentences into one sentence. I would rather have had them repeat all 10 sentences to me because even the little details matter in building language.

Making an effort to understand every word the deaf/hoh individual communicates will most likely secure the relationships between them and family members. It may be a frustrating process at first while trying to learn how to cue read. In the long run, it should pay off. After all, the deaf/hoh individual wants to fit in with the family and be able to express all of his/her feelings knowing they will be understood to the full extent.

In conclusion, it is beneficial if all immediate family members learn the modality chosen for the deaf/hoh individual. It will bring the family closer together. While it is not easy to cue or lipread every word said, it is important to try to include all family members whether they are hearing or deaf/hoh. Every word counts.